Long Overdue Update

Well, I cannot believe it has been almost 2 years since I last typed here. I honestly don’t know what has kept me from it. I have thought about coming back to this keyboard many times, but there is a little inner voice that ‘helps’ me come up with excuses every time –

• I’m too busy.
• Is anyone really interested?
• There is way too much that has gone on since then to possibly catch you up.
• There is not anything going on so what would I have to say?

So you can see my dilemma – even though pre cancer I was one of THE most indecisive people you would ever meet, post cancer I have managed to rise to a whole new level.

Anyway – I have made it! I have shushed that voice and am finally putting out an update!

In March 2022, as I was completing my radiotherapy sessions, I was easing back into working, by joining meetings remotely. Soon after completing my treatment, I was given the all clear to return to work in person so eased back into this and am now back to working my usual schedule. Emma and Elijah are both in university, Ezra is finishing up high school, Ellie is a sweet 13 year old and wee Elspeth that was just finishing up nursery as I began my treatment for cancer is now in her 3rd year of school! How is that possible??? This past June, I had the privilege of watching Matt realize all his hard work and determination by becoming Dr. Matthew Ylitalo as he completed his PhD here at the University of St. Andrews.

Time for Reflection –

In preparing to give a talk to a group of medical students recently, I was reflecting on how much has changed since I completed my treatment – looking back at that time in my life with some different perspective and distance. The topic of the talk was Hope in the face of death. As I looked back at all I an my family went through and the amazing support we received from our families, friends, church and neighbors I was so immensely encouraged. I can absolutely say that going through that battle, there was always a strong feeling of Hope.

I feel a great responsibility in talking about these things that I don’t give the impression that God is good only because my treatment has been successful, but rather that living in a world where cancer is a thing that impacts people, I am aware that God worked every detail of my life in such a way that I felt loved and supported the entire time. Even when things were uncertain, I could still have hope. But please hear me when I say that if my treatment had not been successful, I would have had no less reason for hope. That is not the focus of this post, but for those who have followed me all the way through, you will know that my hope is not in this temporary life, but in the everlasting life paid for on my behalf, but my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. I am happy to chat about that more so please do get in touch if you have any questions.

So many reasons to be Thankful –

This November we were able to once again host a Thanksgiving meal. It had in years past been a thing we had enjoyed so much, but then was stopped due to COVID, then cancer treatment and various other things, but 2023 was the year to pull out all the stops. What a blessing to be able to bring people together for the purpose of expressing thanks, but also a great reminder to stop and think of what there was to be thankful for. I am certain that there are days when I take God’s goodness for granted, but I hope that I am able to see more clearly how blessed I am in the here and now. Not just in my bodily healing in the past, and not just in the hope of eternity one day, but in my day to day.

During my treatment and again since it has been complete, Mom and Dad have been able to travel again to see us. It has been so great that they are able to visit once again. Ang surprised to stew out of me in September of 2022! I was so excited for that visit and truly sad to see her go. She often says her soul is here – I can here it telling her she needs to come back again 😉. And Rod and Alice made it over for Matt’s graduation. We weren’t sure if that was going to work out, but it was great to have them here for a visit!

There are so many other ways I have seen God’s hand of protection and healing in my life or even the lives of my family. In November of 2022, my mother was life flighted to Amarillo in acute renal failure and placed emergently on dialysis. This was a huge shock to the whole family and we didn’t know what to expect, but she was discharged from the hospital after about 2 weeks, no longer needing dialysis – what a miracle!

What a Christmas we had!! We were able to manage a trip back to Oklahoma for the whole family. Somehow schedules fit together well enough and with some generous help from parents toward tickets we all boarded the plane back to the US of A in mid December. Well, only to find out when on the tarmac our next flight had been cancelled. That sure seemed frustrating until later that night one of the children (who shall remain anonymous for the purpose of this post) fell ill. A full night GI distress ensued that would have been MOST unwelcome on an airplane or in an airport. We were so thankful for the delay and the provision of hotel for the night. After finally making it to Oklahoma – a day past our intended arrival, we squeezed so much into the time we had there. We saw our nephew commissioned into the USMC, enjoyed Christmas celebrations and traditions with both sets of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins and even extended family. Everyone went above and beyond to make it all so special. What a great time of reconnecting with loved ones face to face! Loved every minute of it!

Something that I have been thinking a lot about this past year, especially since we now live so far from our families, is how unexpected it is that even though my two oldest are both ‘away’ at university, I still see them both on a regular basis. They are either a 20 min or hour and a half bus trip from ‘home’ and even just last night we were all together for a pizza and movie. God is so kind to this mamma!

These are just a few of the highlights. I could go on and on and on, but will need to stop there for now. I would encourage you to try sitting down and thinking of all you have to be thankful for. In the light of such turmoil going on in the world, this can be a great encouragment.

What now?

Short answer – I have no idea!!

I continue to work as a doctor for the frail elderly in Ninewells Hospital. Matt continues to work term to term for the University of St Andrews while applying for more long term employment. Emma and Elijah carry on toward their degrees in Forensic Anthropology and Business with Finance and Economics respectively. Emma is enjoying playing Lacrosse for the University and taking on responsibilities with the Dundee Uni CU (Christian Union) while Elijah continues to play basketball. Ezra is making decisions about what he wants to study after high school (but mainly wants to start learning to drive 😜) and making great strides as a leader on the rugby pitch. Ellie has started gymnastics and plays hockey at school. She is making choices of what subjects she will study for the next 2 years. And lastly, Elspeth is becoming a confident little swimmer and a good reader. She is a big help to her teacher at school and enjoys spending time with her friends.

So, I guess the long answer is we keep on living where we are, trying to be mindful of the blessings that are in each and every day, until we know what is next.

Tonight we sang a song in church that really expressed how I feel about the uncertainty that the future holds. I am sharing the link below to listen to it, but here are the lyrics. Each verse can be applied to various times in the past 3 years, but I am highlighting the last verse here –

“Though I may not see what the future brings
I will watch and wait for the Saviour King
Then my joy complete, standing face to face
In the presence of the Ancient of Days”

Q & A-

Well, there are usually a couple of things people want to know if they haven’t seem me in a while so I thought I’d put a couple of anticipated questions here with their answers. I would love if any of you want to comment with some other questions as well.

Are you in remission? Well, that isn’t exactly how this cancer works. I had 2 dear friends with the same type of cancer I was diagnosed with die after recurrence while I was just starting treatment for my cancer. There had been points in time when they had been ‘cancer free’, but this one has a sneaky way of popping back up elsewhere. I was counseled at the start of my treatment that there were not statistics to tell me how my body should respond to my treatment at 5 or 10 years because there had been massive changes in how it was treated and the outcomes were much more encouraging. So, even though I had as complete of a response to every treatment that was thrown at my cancer, there isn’t really a way to know if it will come back.

How do you feel now? I think I actually feel quite ‘normal’. There are some nagging issues that may or may not be related to my treatment, but on a whole, I have very little to complain about. Some issues may come from now being a bit older and that – as I mentioned earlier – I’ve allowed myself to become more sedentary. Hopefully, finally working up the will power to fight against the voice of indecision will bleed over from this blog post into getting up and moving – becoming consistent with exercise and fitness.

How can we help and support people facing cancer and other health challenges? Ok, I will confess that no one has actually asked me this question, but I think it is a question many people WANT to know the answer to. I am not sharing this because we are in a position of needing extra help and support, but rather give the perspective from someone who has been on the receiving end. On a personal/local level, anything practical is always great – meals, childcare, notes/messages/texts/calls of encouragement. On a community or corporate level – it is great to get involved in activities and fundraisers to help raise money, provide resources, and promote awareness of unmet needs. There is nothing so encouraging as watching your children who have benefitted from the kindness of others when our family were in need, now determined to make a difference in the lives of others as they face their own battles. Emma has set a goal during the month of February to raise £700 to donate toward the Little Princess Trust. Please consider supporting her. You can find the details here – Emma’s Fundraiser for Little Princess Trust