Hair today . . .

So lets talk hair.  Hair seems a small thing.  So why is it one of the first things I thought about when I was diagnosed with cancer? Like many of you, I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with my hair. It seems to do as it pleases, but I have always thought that was a part of what makes me, me – the girl with the dark curly hair.  As much as I prided myself in not being overly concerned about my hair, the thought of losing it affected me more than I had expected.  As I read more about my planned treatment and heard the stories of others, I realized I would likely lose eyebrows and eyelashes, the hair inside my nose, literally ALL of my hair.  Now being bald is one thing, but bald AND no eyebrows – that was taking things a bit too far. 

Since I have realized that I will now be walking down this unexpected road of being treated for cancer, I feel that what is perhaps more important than the outcome is what happens along the way.  There will be necessary changes and adjustments and cancer is just the thing to force them.  We need to check our selfish natures at the door and learn over again how to love one another well.  I need reminded that I am not guaranteed tomorrow, so grab today and get all out of it there is to offer.  I need to see I cannot do this in my own strength or even by relying on the strength of my amazing family and friends – but instead know that ‘I can do all things through [Christ] who strengthens me’ (Philipians 4:13).  I do not want one part of this learning and growing to be wasted.

This Sunday, I was taking a walk and trying to think of a domain name.  I knew I wanted to blog, but was stuck at trying to choose a name.  As I was praying that God would give me some ideas, my mind drifted to the week’s events.  They had involved trying to arrange for a wig (that one deserves a post of its very own).  It seemed a bit vain to not feel much bothered by having poison coursing through my body in hopes of killing these rouge cells and yet be frustrated and worried about my hair.  It was then God reminded me of Matthew 10:29-31 –

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?  And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.  But even the hairs of your head are all numbered.  Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

God is well aware of how MANY hairs I have to lose.  He is well aware that I WILL lose them and he cares about it.  He is the God of not only the BIG, but also the small. 

In the coming posts, I will rewind and take you back to the very beginning – a very good place to start (please forgive me, we are currently introducing our 5 year old to The Sound of Music). Thank you for joining me.  I pray you will find at the least a little humor, and hopefully some encouragement in the words I share here in the coming months.  In exchange, I ask that you pray for my family and me as we learn to navigate these uncharted waters.

So my hair – it’s gonna go – all of it, but I will gladly give it in exchange for the reminder that God‘s got this – correction God‘s got ME in the palm of his hand.