So lets talk hair. Hair seems a small thing. So why is it one of the first things I thought about when I was diagnosed with cancer? Like many of you, I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with my hair. It seems to do as it pleases, but I have always thought that was a part of what makes me, me – the girl with the dark curly hair. As much as I prided myself in not being overly concerned about my hair, the thought of losing it affected me more than I had expected. As I read more about my planned treatment and heard the stories of others, I realized I would likely lose eyebrows and eyelashes, the hair inside my nose, literally ALL of my hair. Now being bald is one thing, but bald AND no eyebrows – that was taking things a bit too far.
Since I have realized that I will now be walking down this unexpected road of being treated for cancer, I feel that what is perhaps more important than the outcome is what happens along the way. There will be necessary changes and adjustments and cancer is just the thing to force them. We need to check our selfish natures at the door and learn over again how to love one another well. I need reminded that I am not guaranteed tomorrow, so grab today and get all out of it there is to offer. I need to see I cannot do this in my own strength or even by relying on the strength of my amazing family and friends – but instead know that ‘I can do all things through [Christ] who strengthens me’ (Philipians 4:13). I do not want one part of this learning and growing to be wasted.
This Sunday, I was taking a walk and trying to think of a domain name. I knew I wanted to blog, but was stuck at trying to choose a name. As I was praying that God would give me some ideas, my mind drifted to the week’s events. They had involved trying to arrange for a wig (that one deserves a post of its very own). It seemed a bit vain to not feel much bothered by having poison coursing through my body in hopes of killing these rouge cells and yet be frustrated and worried about my hair. It was then God reminded me of Matthew 10:29-31 –
God is well aware of how MANY hairs I have to lose. He is well aware that I WILL lose them and he cares about it. He is the God of not only the BIG, but also the small.
In the coming posts, I will rewind and take you back to the very beginning – a very good place to start (please forgive me, we are currently introducing our 5 year old to The Sound of Music). Thank you for joining me. I pray you will find at the least a little humor, and hopefully some encouragement in the words I share here in the coming months. In exchange, I ask that you pray for my family and me as we learn to navigate these uncharted waters.
So my hair – it’s gonna go – all of it, but I will gladly give it in exchange for the reminder that God‘s got this – correction God‘s got ME in the palm of his hand.
Hi Ash, your candid blog will help yourself and others along this path. Please know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers 🙂x
You’re an incredible person Ash-er-ley. Your beauty, courage, determination & kindness have always been there and will continue for many years ahead. Whether the hair on your head is your own or purchased your priceless qualities will always shine through.
I have been praying for you since I found out you have cancer.
You are inspiring, encouraging, and a warrior. When I used to do your hair I always thought it was very pretty but what I remember most was every time you left the salon I wanted to be closer to Jesus. You emulated Him then and you are emulating Him now. So yes every hair has and always will be accounted for by Him but I imagine that the people you have touched for Him are more numerous than the hairs on your head and for that I am grateful to be one that you have touched.
Praying for you to be healed! And praying for that curly hair to grow back even curlier !
Love and prayers for you and the family every day! Although we are miles apart, know I am with you in spirit and will be following your journey. I wish we were closer so I could help out with cleaning, meals, helping however needed. Love you friend, and I am here if you need to talk!
Ashley I love how God gave you that verse! He does know how many hairs you have, God knows exactly where yiu are right now!! Prayingvwith you through this time of your life…At least you won’t have to shave your legs for awhile lol
I’m so glad you’re doing this! Thank you for being authentic and sharing your heart. I would feel the same way about losing my hair. We’re praying and will follow you here!
Ashley, I have only just found and read your blog. When I saw your post I was fairly certain you had written something but somehow I could not access it. Emma came to my rescue once more! We love you more than words can say and will be there with you and for you and the family, every step of the way. It would be wonderful to actually be there physically speaking too. Your strong faith in God is an encouragement to us, and we know He will surround you with His strength, power and peace. We are also encouraged by the many friends and family who will be praying earnestly for your healing. You are in the palm of His hand, and He will always hold on to you, no matter what happens. You are loved! Mom
Ashley, I am reminded your faith in our Father is strong, even during this uncertain time. As you have stated God’s got you in the palm of his hand and He cares about everyone of your concerns. I pray peace over you during your journey and may you feel God’s presence ever second of every day as He leads you through this valley. I will also pray for complete recovery as well and pray for your family during this challenging time. Sending hugs and prayers from Tennessee!
The Flynn Family loves you and we are praying for you and the Scotland Ylitalo crew. The Orion Baptist Church Family is praying for you as well.
Thank you and well done, my bonnie lass. I always have enjoyed both listening to you pray and reading your thoughts. You have a beautiful heart. I admire your faith and fortitude. While no one seeks out this path, I am looking forward to going through it with YOU and our children, all of us hand-in-hand with our great God.
ASHLEY,
You are in my prayers as all of your family is. Tham you for your encouragement and for being so transparent. Love you! Tammy
Ashley Dear….do you remember a few years ago when Emma was growing her hair for cancer wigs. I just know you’ll received one…it will be a perfect match!!! Loved the beautiful encouraging blog. I see a lot of Papa Ukens’ inspiration. Your faith & dedication to God’s Word will be your strength. Thank you, my dear. Love, prayers & blessings from above for you & your beautiful family. Mom Y
Wow!! What a wonderful woman you are. You are all truly inspiring xx I can tell you from experience that you are on thee toughest and most life changing journey of your life, a journey that you will look back on in disbelief that it happened to you. There is nothing like staring your own mortality in the face, trying to be strong for everyone, to continue as mum and wife, friend and daughter whilst refusing to let this beast beat you but being scared, so terribly scared of what might be. Some days you will feel on top of the world for what you have achieved and others, u will feel like you are hanging on by your fingernails. My advice? Be true to yourself, listen to your body and don’t try to be the superhuman that you are used to being. Rest, recharge, eat what you want, when you want, be selfish… if you don’t feel up to it, don’t do it. This is about you, getting the treatment you need and taking the recovery time required xx this is not the time to worry about everyone else xx stay strong beautiful lady ❤️
We love you!
This is awesome sister . Your words of faith will spill into someone’s ear who needs to hear this. Thanks for this blessing to the person who needs it. Super proud of you
Beautiful! Thanks so much for sharing! Very very encouraging! ❤️
Ashley, Faith and Love will be beside you as you walk this path. Your strength in sharing this journey is inspiring and makes us all want to be with you supporting you every step of the way. My thoughts and prayers are with you daily. Stay safe, stay strong and ask when you need anything.
With love.
Ashley, I admire the courage that our LORD has given you!!! Our prayers are that Christ keeps you held so tight in his love that only HIS strength will show! So your friends and family and dear ones will see Christ glorified in what ever goes on. Love you guys!!!!!!!!!
You and your family are in my prayers. I will ask my small group and women’s class to lift you in prayer as well.
Thank you for allowing me to be on this journey with you. May God richly bless you.
God has you! You have daily prayers from me for you and your family as you battle this beast! Christ battled Satan with scripture and you are battling this beast in the same manner! I am so proud of you and your strength to make this our journey as well as yours!
You are so beautifully and wonderfully made. I admire you so much. We are praying for you daily and know that God will use even this for good. We loved getting to know Emma. Marion
Ashley- I remember when you, Jamie , and I- three girls with big curly hair- roomed together in our “tri-suite” in Walker Tower. We were always needing to vacuum up all that shed hair more than we actually did. Your hair looks so beautiful still, but even more beautiful is your willingness to know your need for Him, and your willingness to share your journey with your friends. I will be praying for your health and your journey.
Much love ❤️
Permit me to borrow a well-worn British phrase, “Well said!”
I’m certain Ashley, that you have no idea how much your words will, and maybe already have, inspired and encouraged many. I have over the years, found myself encouraged when someone expressed to me what my words had meant to them. And, they are only the few I know about, and I just imagine the others I may never know of.
I have found it easy over the years to write about the fun stuff, the good stuff, but not so much about the bad stuff, or should I say, the stuff that seemed bad at the time.
Many years ago I started writing about basketball, more to inform scattered family members than anything else. It was when your “little” sister and the Hooker Lady Bulldogs went to state a couple of years in a row. My “personal” notes to family somehow became articles for a few newspapers. I still remember the lady at a Boise City game, upon seeing the name on the back of my jacket, said, “Are you the guy who writes those stories for the newspaper?” I was shocked that a Lady from Boise City was reading what I wrote about The Hooker Lady Bulldogs… and enjoying it.
Ashley, someday in the future I have no doubt, someone will approach you and say, “Are you that lady from Balmullo who wrote about her hair?” You both will be blessed.
For a long time the Lady Bulldogs never lost a game and it was fun telling their story. But then they lost! I had to have a lengthy visit with myself to write that story because it wasn’t fun, but I did it.
You writing about what to most of us seems like loss will have results you cannot imagine. Thank you for writing about the hard stuff.
In another situation, I found myself writing in support of property rights for many in our area. Something I wrote ended up in the Amarillo Globe-News. I got notes, letters and calls from people over a pretty wide area thanking me for speaking out…because they wanted to but did not know how. At about this time I was reading in Proverbs and came across Chapter 31 and verse 8 where it says, “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.”
So I took it as my duty to keep on writing.
I’m just guessing there are many in your situation who would like to write, but for some reason or other can’t or don’t know how. You are now their voice.
Proud of you…Dad
I am so glad you are blogging! Writing is very therapeutic.
I am praying for you and sharing your blog with another friend who has also just started this journey.
Keep writing!!!
Ashley, thank you for being so transparent and acknowledging that God knows all about you and your journey! Love you friend and we are praying for you. I love the quote necessary changes and adjustments- absolutely! One that I struggled with was allowing myself to slow down and rest when my body was screaming at my to do so. When you work and have children and a home to care for you want to just keep going! Please take care of you❤️ P.S. I see where you get your writing ability- Dad!
Well spotted, Lynne. He is an amazing writer and an even better encourager!!
Thank you Lynne! She keeps moving the goalposts. 😎
Ashley-
You and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers and will continue to be in them. I love that you are using this TEST as a TESTIMONY. Love you so much!
I love your blog name & I love you! We are praying for you (& your hair now) 😊! Thank you for sharing your journey. ❤️